He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
