You're a womanizer and a bitch.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
