bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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