Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
