Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
