none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
