well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
