yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
