How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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