My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
