you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
