Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
40s are totally the cure
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
