Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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