I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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