So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
