i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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