he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Alive.
So much puke
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
