everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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