remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
