Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
