have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
