Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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