Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
