At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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