Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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