Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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