this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize