yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
