you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
