1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
