bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
