the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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