I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
