Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
