There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
