I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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