actually, I'm a sock model
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
