He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
