butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
its not stalking. its research.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
