So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
