How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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