he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Rumble strips road head = magical
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
