he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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