Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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