How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
