lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
