the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
