I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
