She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Holy shit dude........stairs
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