no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
