Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
